I don't care anymore because

Emotions are a menace , but it is beautiful ;)

There is more to life than you

♥ jaja je lah

Do you know how it feels to lose to your emotion?.

Experienced.

It feels like I am sucked into a vacuum , involuntarily. It was excruciating , like all my bones were crushed into bits and pieces so I could fit into the little hole. I couldn't breathe , I was suffocating , I was desperately gasping for air. My body was trembling , my heart was racing so fast , I thought it was possible it could burst. I was wandering into space , into nothing , empty. My body was not coordinating with my mind, somehow it has it's own system going when everything else fails.

Help me , I'm weak. I lost words when I knew this was it , this was the end of my story, the start of a new misery. Battling for my glory , I lost touch of the world. I was too indulge into my own victory, that I lost. I lost everything. I lost the battle of power.

Liberty could not save me now no more , I could not save myself. Viva la Vida , no longer. It's over, done. I lost my own battle , to my despicable emotions. I lost to myself.

Don't fret , I know I'll lose again , but I can always try to win.

Tepuk dada tanyalah selera ;

Apa rasanya menjadi yang selalu meninggalkan?

Bukan ditinggalkan , bukan tertinggal.

Meninggalkan.

Meninggalkan seseorang , sesuatu , setempat.

Meninggalkan perkara yang pernah bermakna suatu ketika dulu ,

Namun sekarang, sekadar sesuatu yang pernah berlaku sahaja.

Apa rasanya?

Apa rasanya menjadi yang selalu meninggalkan?

Bila ditanya, diam membisu.

Apa rasanya kepada kita yang ditinggalkan pula,

sedangkan yang meninggalkan juga tidak tahu mengapa?

Bodoh , tidakkah begitu?

♥ jaja je lah

love for free.

I think I'm going to start back on what I love to do -writing. After months of drawing , experimenting , researching and visualizing , it's time I head back to the pens and papers. I want to try and carve a smile on your face again , because it tastes like hot cupcakes on a gloomy day , like an endless emotion , like giving out love for free ;)

♥ jaja je lah

you'd think a girl would learn , think again.

Just when I thought I would just give up, I found myself with a new love, friendship. It's not that I never had any, but I haven't been appreciating it for a long time. I have been literally blinded by all the other distractions in my life, I forgot what it was like to have friends when you need them.

But these people, they're not the closest of friends I have, they're the friends that stuck onto my standings since month one in college because by the third month I am there, I need to re-evaluate everything again. Seeing how things don't go as we plan sometimes, I see people change, people get hurt, I get hurt and friends become our foes. It's hurts because it's just ridiculous. Sometimes, I still feel like I'm in high school, and it is not a feeling I am much fond of.

Let's not spoil this by talking about my inner-emotions, I'm here to share my experience.

My friends and I had a two days-one night trip, an end-of-the-semester-party holiday, in Port Dickson. Well, literally, it was a surprise birthday party for Farah Liyana and Sadiq made all the plans. But we still got a portion of success from our to do list for this semester, a break with the friends. Though mayhem corrupted our earlier schedule, people made other people go outrageous and the bad weather made some of us just lose control, we had the best times of the month. The best after the long assignments and exams.

We had barbecue dinner , birthday cakes , charades games , late-night shisha hang-outs , eventful dramas , and a long night of not sleeping. I wouldn't change a bit of what happen that night, because it was perfect. I just wish Shila and Shasha could be there. And now that semester one is over, here we go into our respective fields next year for second semester. Fine arts. Photography and Graphic Design, we're always friends. And you guys are my friends. They make me happy, happier than before.

♥ Farah Liyana, Ophie, Nat, Fya, Ajai, Idan, Reez, Acap, Yap, Adli, Amir, Gigi ♥

*not all in picture. thanks to Nisa, Syeera, Ijan & Kim for attending.

Qila couldn't make it.

p/s ; to reez and idan, thanks for listening. i love you guys.

♥ jaja je lah